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The Valley I Am From

from Long Winter by Jesse LeBourdais

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about

"A couple of years ago, someone close to me experienced a terrible tragedy. Around the same time, someone broke into my house and stole my laptop. When I was driving home to be with family after the tragedy, I was being a total asshole to myself and those around me because I felt like someone stealing my laptop was so important and my entitlement and privilege was blinding me to the real loss of life that had just occurred. When I got there, the person who had just lost someone they loved was handling it so well, I immediately felt a crushing sense of shame for being so concerned about some stupid belonging. Their loss was real, but they showed me a path to dealing with loss, that I will always carry with me."
-JL

lyrics

It's way too late, and I am way past tired. I can't think this straight, the clarity just won't come. I made a mistake, but you never had a choice and all the things I lost don't compare to what you'll never see again.

I can show you how to stop caring about anything at all, but you showed me how much better it is to pay attention to every single step.

It's a long way home to the valley that I am from, in the mountains far from the sea but I will make it if I can. Along the way, I will keep treating myself like I'm the biggest fool alive and the day has just begun, plenty more in me left to burn.

You showed a strength; you showed what really matters is not what you possess. If it was me, I would have tore my own heart right out of my chest.

That should tell you everything you need to know, I won't waste anymore of your time, defending how I choose to waste my own.

It's a long way home to the valley that I am from, in the mountains far from the sea but I will make it if I can. Along the way, I will keep treating myself like I'm the dumbest fuck alive and the day has just begun, plenty more in me left to burn and I'm painfully aware of every turn.

The best that I can do is offer bitter condolences. I know it won't mean much. You won't be satisfied until someone answers all of your questions, and resolution takes away those lonely desolate nights.

credits

from Long Winter, released March 1, 2015
Jesse LeBourdais - Guitar, Vocals, Piano
Elliot Langford - Bass
Dave Leslie - Drums
Denise Cymbalist - Vocals

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Jesse LeBourdais Vancouver, British Columbia

Punk rocker/folk singer, now an author, apparently.

Breaking strings and writing words since 1998.

New Single "We Howl" out March 1st, 2024

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