I Go By The Sound

by Jesse LeBourdais

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    The 2nd Full Length album from Vancouver's Jesse LeBourdais. Download includes album art .pdf!

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Flames, Long Winter, Home (Split with Jon Creeden), Old Glories, I Go By The Sound, Little Mountain, and The Worst Kind of Ambition. , and , .

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about

For cds and merch mail orders, and all booking inquiries: screamnotsing@yahoo.ca

credits

released May 8, 2012

Recorded at Fadermaster by Paul Boechler
with help from Greg Bedford
Mixed by Shawn Cole
Mastered by Brock McFarlane

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all rights reserved

about

Jesse LeBourdais Vancouver, British Columbia

Acoustic Punk from Vancouver

New Album coming July 2017

www.jesselebourdais.com

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Track Name: Hideout
Hideout
If I can just make it through this week I'll get enough to pay rent. Set some aside to pay my bills, before I'm spent. I can't afford to not be working but it's hard to get out the door. I'm counting days till the leaves start to fall and I can be somewhere else. I can pack up everything I need and we can be on our way. We'll make the dust the only thing we leave behind us, and settle for ourselves. We will hide out here where the living is still cheap and there's no one calling on me and we won't be expected home, till we're ready to return. Set them up and we'll knock them down, one by one. Walk the streets with my eyes firmly planted on the ground and my mind going numb. So I count all the change in my pockets, hoping it's enough to take me home; and though I may not know where that is I know I'll find it if I go. All the things that I wished I never said now ring with the glory of satisfaction. There ain't no way I'm gonna let this be the end of it, but for now I'm gone. We will hide out here where the living is still cheap and there's no one calling on me and we won't be expected home, till we're ready to return. We will spend our days lying in the sun and our nights filled with drink and song and we won't ever have to question are we living for ourselves. Nope.
Track Name: Lost And Found
Lost and Found
I've been lost, and I've been found. I've laid my head on some cold, wet ground. Been through worse, I hope I will see better. This will not be the death of me. I see the change that we were promised; a direction pointing down. I swear it's not my fault the company wanted change, but they did not want me. My baby is on the floor, she won't stop crying and my momma's gonna die from her hospital bills. There is only so many days we can live like this without no pay. I've been lost, and I've been found. I've laid my head on some cold, wet ground. Been through worse, I hope I will see better. This will not be the death of me. So I take what I can from what we've managed to save, I'm hoping it'll get us enough food for the day. Maybe tomorrow our luck will change but tonight I am not holding on too tight. Take my time, take my whole life away. Give it back to me when I'm ready someday. We don't have the means to leave but we can't pay rent, so we can't stay. I've been lost, and I've been found. I've laid my head on some cold, wet ground. Been through worse, I hope I will see better. This will not be the death of me. I'm not looking for the answers to any questions that I can not figure out, but sometimes I really do need help. If there is anybody out there feeling like I do, I can only sympathize. I'm just trying to do what I think is right. I've been lost, and I've been found. I've laid my head on some cold, wet ground. Been through worse, I hope I will see better. This will not be the death of me.
Track Name: Ain't Never
Ain't Never
I'm on my own, far from my home and I ain't go nowhere to go. I'm taking in the best and the worst that this place can offer me. Just 'cuz I'm here, shit, it don't mean I care. I just got nowhere to go. Being constantly off guard can only get you so far and I think my time is up. You can't run away from you carry with you, there is no sense to try and hide and I swear that I have been here before, but I don't know where to go. So I'll take my time and I will read every line and this letter will never be sent. I don't need your help. I'm falling apart just fine on my own. So good times or bad times, what do I care? I ain't got nowhere to go. Things ain't that bad but they can't get much worse before I'm getting out of here. My mind is racing when it should relax but it's just not giving up, and I ain't never had quite a feeling like this and I don't know where to go. So I'll take my time and I will read every line and this letter will never be sent. I don't need your help. I'm falling apart just fine on my own. You can find me at the bar if you're looking for me but I really don't think that you are, so I'll just keep scribbling these words down on napkins all night.
Track Name: I Go By The Sound
I Go By The Sound
I'm walking around trying to find myself a piece of what I lost. Then it hits me like a shot to the head and I fall to my knees. But not to some God but a speaker and on the floor it sounds so good. A testament to a life well wasted. When I left home at sixteen years old, I was following a sound. I found it with friends, I found it on my own and it took a little while to get the rhythm strumming on my father's guitar. If one week later finds me stumbling again, like I'm losing control; the sound it'll resonate through my bones and the memory will linger. This is just what I needed to hear. Another reminder. That when I left home at sixteen years old, I was following a sound. I found it with friends, I found it on my own and it took a little while to get the rhythm strumming on my father's guitar. So if there is anything that I have that you need, feel free to take it. I don't think I need it if I follow the sound. If you need my eyes, you can take them. I will still make it. I go by the sound. So take it all away, I will still make it. I go by the sound.
Track Name: Union Man
Union Man
I started out Union man, like my father before me. At 15 I took a job at a Hamilton automotive line, and I made a living on that floor and I thought that it would last but corporate interests swept us away. I lost my job, my pension and my severance has run out; 30 years of service looks like nothing on a page. How the fuck did this happen? I spent my whole life in a lie. I traded in the things worth living for, exchanged them with a dying way of life. When I was young it was so easy to imagine glory, like my heroes in the war. I enlisted right when I could and I served my country and my family best as I knew how. Well, I got gold on my shoulder and I got respect inside my field but I've been walking in this desert for 8 years. I missed the birth of my daughter, missed the death of my father and it looks like I won't be coming home. How the fuck did this happen? I spent my whole life in a lie. I traded in the things worth living for exchanged them with a dying way of life. Son, I'm looking for a way out here, could you please show me the path. My frail old eyes can't see like they used to but I'll find my way back home. On your death bed, what will you choose to remember? Making other people rich ending other people's lives, or the moments where you felt like you were alive just for a second? Where you felt like there is something more than just working. How the fuck did this happen? I spent my whole life in a lie. I traded in the things worth living for exchanged them with a dying way of life. Son, I'm looking for a way out here, could you please show me the path. My frail old eyes can't see like they used to but I'll find my way back home. Oh yes, I'll find my way back home.
Track Name: If I Don't Get To Tell You
If I Don't Get To Tell You
If I never told you that I'm grateful for all that you've done, and If I never told you that I owe you much more than you know, then that proves I'm a fool and I'm hoping you will forgive me. This life can change so fast one day you're here, the next you're gone, boy you're gone and I know that I prefer knowing how it's going to be. It never works out being surprised, it's never what you wanted it to be. I prefer knowing how it's going to end so I can best prepare myself the only way I know how. If I ever told you that I hated the way you mad me feel, and if I ever told you that nothing was all I wanted well then I'm sorry for that too and I'm hoping you will forgive me. I'm just trying to get through this life day by day best I can with what you gave me in all my time. I prefer knowing how it's going to be. It never works out being surprised, it's never what you wanted it to be. I prefer knowing how it's going to end so I can best prepare myself the only way I know how. So if I don't get to tell you and all this left unspoken, and if I don't get to tell you, say if time keeps it away, well then I'm hoping that this song makes it to tape and finds it's way to you. Then I can feel a little stronger when you're gone knowing you're somewhere listening to me. I prefer knowing how it's going to be. It never works out being surprised, it's never what you wanted it to be. I prefer knowing how it's going to end so I can best prepare myself the only way I know how.
Track Name: Wounds
Wounds
If you need to find me I'll be sitting here in the darkest corner of the room. That's where I found some piece and quiet to myself and my wounds won't bother me here. The more time I spend in this crowd the stronger the feelings of retreat make me want to disappear, but I'm not angry, I'm just tired and I don't want to deal with this at all. But for now I'll keep following my own advice until it bleeds into my soul and my body and my mind won't let it go. This might be what I want but if you ask me I will still say no. This anxiety is tearing out my stomach and my nerves won't hold worth a shit and if you think I like this, then don't fuckin' ruin this for me, don't make me take back everything I ever said. On the subject of my defeat, I'm just not ready to concede. The point is made, but soon forgotten and I get right back up off that chair. Just don't ask me to explain what put me there because it bleeds into my soul and my body and my mind won't let it go. This might be what I want but if you ask me I will still say no.
Track Name: Gone To Static
Gone to Static
The road keeps getting longer like I'm moving in reverse. My bloodshot eyes are swollen and my feet don't work no more. The centre line keeps holding me on course, it's all i've got. I'll make it home if I stay focused and I don't lose my mind, so I wait and there is not a force strong enough in this world to keep me from you. It's freezing cold outside, but I drive with the window down. The cold air keeps my head and my mind from going numb. In the middle of the night, the radio has gone to static. The moonlight covers every bit of ground that passes by and still I wait and there is not a force strong enough in this world to keep me from you. Oh no, there's not a goddamn thing in this world that's gonna keep me from you. It's easier when I'm alone because I don't put up a fight. I can sit and think for hours on what I'd do with confidence. I don't have that much to say, and I do not know why I can't find the words to say the simplest things I know so I wait and there's not a force strong enough in this world to keep me from you. Oh no, there's not a goddamn thing in this world that's gonna keep me from you.
Track Name: Silence
Silence
My throat is burning, and my ears are ringing. The memory of the past few days would be good if I had one. I've gone and done it again to myself I guess some lessons we'll never learn. All the coffee and the weed in the world ain't chipping away at this wall. Did it ever occur to you that I might be broken? Did it ever occur to you that I might not be worth your time? Singin' all I want is to be left alone and what I'm looking for don't come from other's opinions, it comes from silence and finding my peace with the world. Leave me the fuck alone, I'ma sit here in the dark, sort my shit out and then I think I'll be fine. The light outside my window hurts my eyes when they are open and the flashing onside my head hurts them when they are closed. Wake up with sheets soaked in sweat, face down in a pillow, lying in the corner on the floor. I would get up if I could find a reason to be sure. Did it ever occur to you that I might be broken? Did it ever occur to you that I might not be worth your time? Singin' all I want is to be left alone and what I'm looking for don't come from other's opinions, it comes from silence and finding my peace with the world. Leave me the fuck alone, I'ma sit here in the dark, sort my shit out and then I think I'll be fine. I'm not looking for pity, in fact, I'm not looking for anything at all. There is nothing any conversation is gonna do to make a difference anytime in my world today. It's a matter of patience and it's a matter of time. So what's a matter with you, give me a moments peace and I will be fine. So I can prove to you that I am not broken. So I can prove to you that I am still worth your time. But for now, all I want is to be left alone and what I'm looking for don't come from other's opinions. It comes from silence, and finding my peace with the world. Leave me the fuck alone, I'ma sit here in the dark, sort my shit out and then I think I'll be fine.
Track Name: Take A Good Look
Take a Good Look
I live a simple kind of life. I don't ask much from anyone. It's an easy thing to do; spend your days not trying to hurt people. I'm trying to do the best that I can. An exception, without objection, is the case in front of us. Whether to leave this as it is. I have a memory inside my head that the photograph don't match. So take a good look at my face you won't see it here again and you may want to remember this someday. The sheltered eyes of a closing mind don't really mean that much to me. I've gone about as far as I can go, because I don't really care. A life of privilege had carried you this far, it'll probably take you to the end. But if I ever cross your path again, I would think it'd be too soon. So take a good look at my face you won't see it here again and you may want to remember this someday. The sheltered eyes of a closing mind don't really mean that much to me. I've gone about as far as I can go. So take a good look at my face you won't see it here no more and you may want to remember this someday. Or maybe you won't and maybe you are happy livin' this way, either way my stake in this is through.
Track Name: Matter Of Days
Matter of Days
I hate this drive, but I do not want it to end. I can barely focus, and we're freezing to the road. But tomorrow we return to the rain and to the world where headlines linger longer than the time we spend within. We'll toast our empty glasses with strained vocal chords and count ourselves lucky that we are even here at all. There's a feeling of relief that I get when I finally look to the west and the mountains rise from the Prairies like a tombstone to the world. In a matter of days I'll regret coming home and I wish I was leaving tonight, tonight, my friends. I thought I left this behind, but it was just waiting for me to return here and I've go no one but myself for me to blame. Too tired to sleep, I'm staring out a frozen window. Cold and shivering in the backseat of a car waiting for a chance to get some sleep. But the first smile I see upon your face is enough to make it all seem worthwhile and the lights of the city from my place remind me that it really ain't that bad. In a matter of days I'll regret coming home and I wish I was leaving tonight, tonight, my friends. I thought I left this behind but it was just waiting for me to return here and I've got no one but myself for me to blame. That feeling of relief of that I get will quickly turn to dread at the thought of spending my days waiting for my next opportunity to leave. Because in a matter of days I'll regret coming home and I wish I was leaving tonight, tonight, my friends. I'll see you all very soon, and I hope it will not be too long.
Track Name: About Right
About Right
I remember being scared of what was coming 'round the corner, like it held some mystery. I was never one to worry and I was never one to care and ain't much changed. If you can make enough in a day to pay for what you spent at night, there was never any reason to think that this would ever change then all of a sudden the bills came in and the lines got longer. Now some time has passed and I'm not old, but I am no longer young and I am no longer unaware of how little this all means and how fast this can all go, so take what from this you will. This life is too fuckin' short to waste your time doing thing you hate waiting to die. I'm going deeper into debt holding on to the feeling that I am still alive. So I take my money and I toss it away, I'm looking for things to regret someday. I'd rather have a memory than financial security anyway. I might wind up being dirt poor, with a shit load of friends and a guitar. I'd say that sounds about right, how about you?
Track Name: Emma
I wasn't there one year ago and I'm sorry to say I won't be there tomorrow, but I'm still choking up at the thought of you sitting in my guitar case. So I carry with me a picture of you on the day you arrived because I'm pretty sure that I've never seen that look on your dad's face ever before in my life. But more times than I'd like, you'll come to find I'm too caught up in my own life and I won't be around. But if saying this now makes it all alright for all the times you won't see me at all. When I mark the passing of time by passing kilometre signs and all the rest stops I've drove past before, it all turns to a blur. It turns hours into days and turns good times in to memories. But you will never get them back, so be happy with what you got and keep going till you're done. I can't really say where I'm gonna be in the next couple years or the next couple days, I'm not sure. But more times than I'd like, you'll come to find I'm too caught up in my own life and I won't be around. But if saying this now makes it all alright for all the times you won't see me at all; I will be here for you, for the rest of my days. But if sometime in your life, you look for me and I'm gone, don't think too poor of me. I did my best. We have only got so much time, and there is so much to do. Don't think too little of me, I think the world of you.