1. |
Bottom of the Well
03:54
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LYRICS
I've been falling in a well of my own design, and I've been drowning in the water. I've been taking all the ropes they've been dropping me and turning them to useless art. I ain't listened to advice I've been given, cuz I don't wanna hear that shit anyway. So at the bottom of the well is where I stay.
It's really not too bad down here, there is always lots to drink! Everyone leaves me alone or brings something to eat. In the middle of the night, when it's dark and when it's cold, I swear I hear the voices of other people who have fallen and are living at the bottom but still just staring at the sky. It's about as much as we can see anyway. No, it ain't lonely at the bottom of the well.
I've been falling in a well of my own design, and I've been drowning in the water. I've been taking all the ropes they've been dropping me and turning them to useless art. I ain't listened to advice I've been given, cuz I don't wanna hear that shit anyway. So at the bottom of the well is where I stay, or at least just for another couple days.
But if I'm being honest there is some things that I would change. Not much room to move down here or space to re-arrange, but I guess I should have thought of that, when I was up above but I had made all my decisions and I wasn't gonna budge. So the nights keep getting longer and with it comes the cold. All those other voices are starting to get old, they tell the same stories and I'm getting fucking bored.
I've been falling in a well of my own design, and I've been drowning in the water. I've been taking all the ropes they've been dropping me and turning them to useless art. I ain't listened to advice I've been given, cuz I don't wanna hear that shit anyway. So at the bottom of the well is where I stay but maybe you could check on me in a couple days.
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2. |
Bad Blood
04:58
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'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love.
So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood
Hey
Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.
You made a really deep cut, and, baby, now we got bad blood.
Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted.
Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it's all rusted.
Did you have to hit me, where I'm weak? Baby, I couldn't breathe
and rub it in so deep, salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me.
Oh, it's so sad to think about the good times between you and I
Because, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love.
So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood.
Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.
You made a really deep cut and, baby, now we got bad blood.
Did you think we'd be fine? Still got scars on my back from your knife.
So don't think it's in the past, these kinda wounds they last and they last.
Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you
and time can heal but this won't, so if you're coming my way, just don't.
Because, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love.
So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood.
Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.
You made a really deep cut and, baby, now we got bad blood.
Band-aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show.
If you live like that, you live with ghosts.
Band-aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show.
If you live like that, you live with ghosts.
If you live like that your fuckin' blood runs cold.
Because, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love.
So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood.
Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.
You made a really deep cut and, baby, now we got bad blood.
Because, baby, now we got bad blood, you know it used to be mad love.
So take a look what you've done, 'cause, baby, now we got bad blood.
Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.
You made a really deep cut and, baby, now we got bad blood.
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3. |
Turn It Over
04:42
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I won't lie to you and say I've been busy, you wouldn't believe it so give me a call. I probably won't answer and I won't check the message but I do like seeing your name on the screen. If that's enough, let's call this successful. I'd love to say more, but nothing has changed and I don't want to have the same conversations. This record is broken, but it will probably say more when it's over.
Don't know how long this will last. But when this is over, I'll lie through my teeth and say I don't mind.
Because I'm still wasting all the good daylight, and burning out before it's night. It's like I'm living in a goddamn nightmare of my own creation cuz I never learn. But if constantly falling apart, is the best way to stay whole, then I turn it over and over and over and over and over until it starts.
Predictable to a fault, I'm still driving around. I'm going nowhere but it keeps me sound, with a hand on the wheel and feet on the floor, the heater is still broken but it's not too cold. There is just one thing I have been meaning to tell you, if this shit goes south, I'll never forgive you. I had all the time in the world, but the clock ran out while I was still thinking it over.
And now I've waited too long. But when this is over, you can lie to my face and say it's all right.
I'll keep wasting all the good daylight, and burning out before it's night. It's like I'm living in a goddamn nightmare of my own creation because I never learn. But if constantly falling apart, is the best way to stay whole, then I turn it over and over and over and over and over until it starts.
But the engine isn't running right, and I'm burning too much fuel. It's like I'm living in a goddamn nightmare of my own creation cuz I never learn. But if we only ever get what we deserve, then I'm confident that I have been over-served. So I put the key in and I don't know why, and find the ignition without light and turn it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it starts.
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4. |
Better Ever Than Never
04:31
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BETTER EVER THAN NEVER
How many times can I make the same decision and hope for a different resolution?
I keep lying to myself about what is to be learned in diminishing returns of empty rooms,
but it’s nice work if you can get it. The room always comes with a view. I don’t know if it’s ever coming back again but if it does it won’t be the same.
When you scream until you have got no air in your lungs,
and your body reminds you that you’ll never be young.
We can all look forward to getting much worse,
but if there is something you need to do, better ever than never.
All the lines we’ve taken played all out in all directions on a table, with pins marking locations
of gas stations and rest stops that sold novelty t-shirts. You either never wore them again or you never took them off.
Then you scream until you have got no air in your lungs,
and your body reminds you that you’ll never be young.
We can all look forward to getting much worse,
but if there is something you need to say, better ever than never.
I’ll trade the darkness for the light and drain the pity from my mind,
and fill my heart with what is left in all of this that is still good.
Roll up my sleeves and get to work, and do away with my remorse,
I’ll trust the ones I love the most and turn my face into the wind.
I think it’s best if we just leave this alone.
So you scream until you have got no air in your lungs,
and your body reminds you that you’ll never be young.
We can all look forward to getting much worse,
but if you're waiting for something to happen, better ever than never.
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5. |
Sunken Monument
04:03
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SUNKEN MONUMENT
This will only take a moment, just a few minutes of your time. I know you’ve got better things to do, and I know that I do too. This problem needs attention, can no longer neglect it, and this failure to respond has been going on for far too long. There has got to be a better way, or at least a different place. But I’m still holding out some hope that you will finally come along but I tell you either way, I’m going to see this to the end, so you can either help or you can just get the fuck out of the way and let us roll.
I wrote this all in a letter I didn’t send, it got thrown away with the rest of the old junk mail and all that recyclable paper that always builds up under the kitchen counter, so I don’t remember what I even wrote so now I’m starting again.
It feels just like I’m falling but I haven’t even started to climb; it feels just like the wheels are falling off but I haven’t left the shop. Does this get any better, or is the highest point? There was once a time when I would let that question burn into my head, but now I take it or I leave it. Either way it’s much the same. Nothing ever really seems to change and we always find our way but that don’t mean that I’m not tired of eating the same shit. Coming up with new a different ways to stay in the same place and never change.
I wrote this all in a letter to myself, but I threw it away with the rest of the old junk mail and all that recyclable paper that always builds up under the kitchen counter, so I don’t remember what I even wrote so now I’m starting again.
But a part will remain in the echo that rings in the hollows of our lives, where it stays, as a reminder of who we used to be. Over time it will fade, like some sunken monument, that is no longer the anchor that it once was. It doesn’t hold you in place and you’re free to change.
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6. |
Water Street
04:25
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WATER STREET
Eastbound walking on Water St. On the shady side, dodging crowds. Reliving old memories and paths I took so many years ago, every single day. Caught myself looking in a window pane, but it didn’t feel the same, the face had changed. I’d spent so many nights alone pretending to be happy until it tore me down to what remained.
But it’s not like it was a difficult choice; I knew which way that this would go.
We all hold on to things that we know will never be, but it was time for me to cut that fucking rope.
Spent my last dollar on a broken dream, it was a train ride home, they are both the same.
Overheard somebody say in their sincerity, they think that it is the worst they’ve ever seen.
But I don’t think they saw it like it was before because they don’t see it now, and they weren’t around.
Ended the night just like I did before, with a train ride home, in the pouring rain.
But it’s not like it’s a difficult choice, we knew which was the wind would blow.
We all hold on to things that we know will never be, but it’s time for me to cut that fucking rope,
because I can’t stay here waiting around for hope.
When I came to this town, I would wander the streets and darken the doorways where the drinks were still cheap. Now all those alleyways they still look the same, there’s just something within that no longer remains but it was foolish to think that it would stay.
But it’s still not a difficult choice. I’m gonna stay until they tell me to leave. Because it’s worth holding on to things that you know will never be. But there is still time to cut that fucking rope. So I’ll just be here waiting around for hope.
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Jesse LeBourdais Vancouver, British Columbia
Punk rocker/folk singer, now an author, apparently.
Breaking strings and writing words since 1998.
New Single "We Howl" out March 1st, 2024
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