I Do it All the Time

from Grief Intensity Friendship by Jesse LeBourdais

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lyrics

If you are quite through tearing out my heart, I would like you to leave. If you’ve had enough ripping out my tongue and turning every word I say into more reasons to stay silent. You can keep what is left of my self-respect, it wasn’t working anyway. You can care for the part of me that lives inside of you, or you can watch it burn.

See I don’t know if I will ever get it back or if I’d even miss it anyway, but for what it’s worth, I’d rather live with the regret than lie to myself anyway. I keep it out of my mind. I do it all the time. So have it out on me, because I can take it. Lay it on my back and I swear you won’t break it but don’t come around here anymore saying that I owe you. I don’t owe you anything at all.

I’m not quite through being done with the rest of my life but there is just so much you can’t control. So I won’t willingly carry the burden of thinking my life has more value then what I can earn when I am awake and what I forget before I go to sleep. I’m always looking for company, me and you we can tear this thing open. When I fall, for surely I will stumble, you can carry me home for I have lost my way.

But I don’t know if I will ever get it back or if I’d even miss it anyway, but for what it’s worth, I’d rather live with the regret than lie to myself anyway. I keep it out of my mind. I do it all the time. So have it out on me, because I can take it. Lay it on my back and I swear you won’t break it but don’t come around here asking for more than I can give.

The only thing I know with any kind of certainty is none of us can do this alone, so if you help me try and stand and you look me in the eyes I swear I’ll do my best to never let you go. I keep you inside my mind. I do it all the time. So have it out on me because I can take it, lay it on my back I swear you won’t break it and please come around here anytime, we always miss you.

credits

from Grief Intensity Friendship, released July 10, 2017

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about

Jesse LeBourdais Vancouver, British Columbia

Punk rocker/folk singer, now an author, apparently.

Breaking strings and writing words since 1998.

New Single "We Howl" out March 1st, 2024

jesselebourdais.com

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