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lyrics

I’ve lost my voice, but I can’t stop screaming because I’m afraid if I do, that’s it. No one will hear me again. I’ve been waking myself up with fits of coughs and I can’t go back to sleep; I can barely breathe. So I keep one eye on the door, one foot ready for the floor but the other half can’t bear the thought of leaving again. I want to close my eyes and go back to sleep for the rest of the goddamn week.

But it has been so long since I can remember a single dream that I’ve had, so when I get bored my imagination takes me to where I can’t hide until i’ve emptied every glass and I have blackened up my lungs. Until I’ve torn my body down and there is nothing left to say. Then it goes and it’s gone and I’m left with a smile and a headache.

I’m happier when I’m gone but I’m more content when I’m at home, and somewhere in between is this restless part of me that just isn’t happy with what he’s got, and feels it always has to change. I don’t need it this way. But I want it to stay. If the person that I have become is not who you thought I would be, well life is just full of disappointments and I know it might not be the path you’d choose but I’m resolved to see it through.

But it has been so long since I can remember a single dream that I’ve had, so when I get bored my imagination takes me to where I can’t hide until i’ve emptied every glass and I have blackened up my lungs. Until I’ve torn my body down and there is nothing left to say. Then it goes and it’s gone and I’m left with a blank piece of paper.

If all that we are is just mostly unfinished stories then the least we can do is to try not to make it boring.

credits

from Grief Intensity Friendship, released July 10, 2017

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Jesse LeBourdais Vancouver, British Columbia

Punk rocker/folk singer, now an author, apparently.

Breaking strings and writing words since 1998.

New Single "We Howl" out March 1st, 2024

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